“Rumours are carried by haters, spread by fools, and accepted by idiots” – Unknown.
Rumours. Where do I start? A post I’ve been wanting to write for some time, but haven’t been able to bring myself to do it..hence the lack of content. I am fully aware that I haven’t posted a single thing for literally two months, I genuinely have at least four blog posts saved in my drafts but nothing seemed right to post; it didn’t seem genuine, just forced, and I’m not prepared to post something that I’m not happy with.
At this moment in time I am sat in a coffee shop headphones in, drinking a vanilla latte, contemplating my thoughts. Today is the first time in a very long time where I have felt that I can process words and feelings into a post. I am fully aware that a large amount of this post won’t make sense and there will be parts where you’ll question what I’ve said but in time it will all come together.
I’ve been going through a lot of personal shit recently…and I know that’s not the most grammatically correct way of putting it but that’s the only way I know how to describe it…shit. I’m not going to go into details but lets just say it’s been a very difficult time in my life and my only way of dealing with it was to shut everyone and everything out and just struggle alone. I know this isn’t the best way to deal with emotions and believe me it isn’t working for me either but I’m just willing to try anything at the moment.
As if this post isn’t vague enough it’s going to get more vague, I’m just trying something out…letting everything out and putting it on paper. Somehow I feel this could help with the healing process. However as much of my life I put onto my blog, some things are personal and are best left unsaid, at least for now anyway.
Feelings…they can make or break you. One moment you can be in the happiest of places knowing that absolutely nothing can take that away from you, then in the flash of an eye it can all change….gone, broken, corrupt. Whether it be that someone else imposes this emotion on you or you do it to yourself, it’s part of life and nothing can change that.
The point of this post was to address an issue, however I have sidetracked a little, it will all come together in the end (I hope), I’m still processing all of just as much as the person reading this is. Rumours…rumours are one of those things where no matter what is said, who has said it or why they have said it there was always be that tiny element of whats said that will effect you, whether you show it or not. There will always be a reason as to why someone has said what they have. Whether it’s due to the contents being correct or whether it’s due to someone else’s insecurities and they are turning their problems into someone else’s, a rumour will always have an element of truth even if it isn’t relevant to the physical words that are spoken.
Rumours have been very apparent in my life at the moment, and by no fault of my own. They have been made, spread and recycled on numerous occasions over the last few weeks, all stemming from a friends jealousy. I admit, when I found out where they came from I was hurt, I didn’t respond to them, I didn’t give them the time of day…but as time has passed I’ve let them in, people make mistakes and it’s unfair to hold them against them. At some point in your life everyone will make a mistake that will hurt someone close to them, the question is do you ignore it, or do you let it define you?
In my case the rumours are false, in every single shape or form. I am not going to go into whats been said or done, but for those that know me should know what is true.
I’m all out of words for one day, but this has helped…tremendously.
Love, Luce ♥