“I want to see the world, follow a map to it’s edges and keep going. Forgo the plans, trust my instincts. Let curiosity be my guide. I want to change hemispheres. Sleep with unfamiliar stars and let the journey unfold before me” – Unknown.
September 6th, 2016 I said goodbye to everyone and everything I knew. Passport in hand, I got on that plane and went to the furthest destination possible…AUSTRALIA! 17,205 miles away from the place I had called home for the last five years, the country I have lived in for the last twenty-four years, and the place where everyone I know and love will be staying.
Now, this is something I’ve talked about doing on and off for the last five years, but I never thought it would happen – I don’t think anyone did.
Twenty-Sixteen has quite possibly been one of, if not, the toughest of my life so far. I’ve lost loved ones, been through heartbreak, changed job, moved house – and that’s only the half of it.
People say that when life changing events happen (no matter how big or small) you find yourself, you begin to learn who you really are. I don’t feel this way, I couldn’t feel less like myself if I tried.
Deep down I thought that by jumping on that plane and leaving all the pain, heartbreak, and suffering behind it would help to start the healing process. I thought that I would start to learn who I am again. We are now over a month into the journey and I am yet to find myself, yet to heal, and yet to let go.
There will always be a huge hole in my life, but I need to stop trying to fill it with what used to be. I need to learn to put myself outside of my comfort zone, to embrace new challenges and beginnings – but right now this just doesn’t feel possible.
More than anything I want to enjoy my time in Australia. This has been my dream for as long as I can remember, but the one thing that is holding me back is my heart – that emotional connection with what I left behind the moment I stepped foot on that plane 34 days ago.
Then there’s TimeHop – I currently hold a love-hate relationship with this app. I love that I get daily reminders of memories with my friends and family, but it also allows you to reminisce on the times that are causing you so much heartbreak. Right now I’m not able to filter these memories…not that I will ever want to (or be able too).
Sometimes you meet people who not only hold a place in your life, but they hold a place in your heart too, and once they’re in your heart, there’s no escaping.
Love, Luce ♥