“I hope one day I’ll pop into your head, and you’ll think ‘I shouldn’t have let her go'”. – Unknown.
Today marks three hundred and six five days since my world fell to pieces. One year ago today everything changed, and nothing has been the same since.
Three hundred and sixty five days have passed since the moment I wish those words could be reversed, those feelings could be removed, and that broken heart could be pieced back together. It’s impossible to describe the feeling of your heart shattering in your chest, while tears endlessly stream down your cheeks. There’s no way to describe the sinking feeling every time their name comes into conversation, or you get reminded of a memory that you once shared together.
The endless nights laying in bed wide awake just thinking about where it all went wrong, thinking of ways you can undo everything and piece it all back together again. Racking your brain to come up with a solution, a way that everything can be put right again.
But unfortunately sometimes you’re the only one playing the game, a game that requires two players. I will continue to fight for what I believe in, until you don’t want me to fight no more. But until that day I will fight every minute, of every day to put you back where they belong, by my side.
Not a day goes by where I haven’t been reminded of you in some way; a photo, a memory, or even just a passing thought…your always in the back of my mind, and I can quite safely say that I don’t believe that feeling will ever part with me.
As you grow up you go through heart break, you think you love people, but until you really love someone, you don’t what what it feels like to have your whole world come crashing down on you right in front of your eyes. I honestly don’t believe I knew what love was until I met you. If you asked me three years ago if I’d ever been in love, I would have honestly said yes, and meant it. But looking back now, I had no idea…I didn’t know that feeling of missing someone so deeply that you feel it in your heart, the sheer excitement you feel when you are reunited after just a short period of time apart. The smile that stretches from ear to ear just by hearing their name or seeing them from across the room. Honestly, I had no idea.
If you’re reading this then please believe me when I say… I don’t resent you, I don’t regret you, and I could never forget you. I thank you. I thank you for giving me the best three years a girl could have ever wished for. I thank you for all the laughter and the memories that we have shared together. For the inside jokes, the secrets, and the moments nobody else would understand. You and I had something special, something unique…and no matter what anyone says, that will never go away. You are still you, and I am still me, and we will forever have that bond.
Love, Luce ♥